02 03 Nerd Lunch: YO JOE! 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33


Our boy CT will be fascinated to learn that I went out and saw "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra."

CT, I tell you what . . . I would've preferred a movie that hewed more closely to the comics or the filecards or "Resolute," but this was fun. This had the manic energy of being ten years old and playing soldiers and ninjas and jets and lasers and pew-pew-pew. In homage, I'm just going to bullet-point some thoughts . . .

My main beef, I guess, is that some of the canon material would've fit just fine, yet wasn't used. Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow's history, for example, was greatly simplified, when a better approach would've been to just show us a little and leave the rest mysterious.

Brendan Fraser had an enjoyable cameo as a new character called Sgt. Stone - - - but he sure looked like Flint to me, so why not call him Flint?

Interesting take on Cobra Commander's origin, and a good performance.

Destro was very Bondian, with his grand plans and Scottish accent. Strange how an actual Scottish accent doesn't sound right after listening to Scotty all those years.

I understand the decision to make it personal by linking Duke, Cobra Commander, and the Baroness with shared history, but I always like the idea that the Joes are fighting these guys because of duty, honor, and country, like real soliders.

Lots of crowd scenes at Joe Headquarters. Man, I should be able to spot the cameos in a scene like that. There should be an Indian, and a bearded guy with a parrot, and a shirtless guy with a Marine Corps tatoo.

Ripcord. Not a bad performance, especially by Marlon Wayans standards, but the character didn't make sense to my inner nerd. Ripcord was a very minor white Joe . . . why call him Ripcord instead of Stalker? Next, why make a Sergeant in the infantry the pilot?

Speaking of rank . . . I liked that Duke was a Captain, rather than a Master Sergeant. When the Joes were a very small squad, it made sense for the field leader to be a non-com, but the bigger the operation (with a space shuttle and a supercarrier and such), the stranger it gets.

Covergirl was a terrible, terrible performance in very small role.

Arnold Voslo was a lot of fun as Zartan.

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