Comic Book Throwdown: Modern Movie Legion of Doom

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This isn't necessarily comic book related other than I'm lifting the "Legion of Doom" name for this.

The challenge:
Pick at least five villains from movies that came out over the past ten years and form a "Legion of Doom" who would make a formidable, nefarious alliance.

Here's mine...

Davey Jones
While I thought the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean movies were on the weak side, Davey Jones was an awesome character and a worthy addition to the pantheon of movie villains. He was a well-designed creature and the accent alone makes those movies worth watching. Having shown the ability to lead a crew of crazies, he'd take charge of this team.

Darth Maul
The only character to come out of the Star Wars prequels who held any interest with me. This is probably because he was largely mysterious and didn't last long enough for Lucas to ruin him. He'd be the group's "ninja."

Agent Smith

While a computer program, he'd fill the role of the spiritual or supernatural villain since supernatural beings were glitches or other programs in the Matrix. I suppose his inclusion means this entire story must take place in the Matrix which would explain how they all get together in the first place I guess. From that standpoint, he might be the most powerful enemy on this team.

The Operative
Although he was the antagonist in Serenity, he may be the one in this group farthest from the villain mold. While he is ruthless and single-minded, the Operative would have to believe that teaming with this group was for a greater good. He'd ultimately lead to the undoing of this group because his values would eventually diverge with the rest of the group and he'd be forced to do what he believed was right.

The Green Goblin
Though slightly insane, the Goblin is cunning and a technical genius. OsCorp would be the source of any tech that this group needed.

For added kicks, I think it would be awesome if this group had possession of a Cloverfield creature.


Who would they fight? I don't know. Doesn't matter. The bad guys are almost always more interesting than the good guys. But I suppose this post might be at least the start of a good list of "Superfriends."

(Nerd) Lunch Special: The Angry Whopper

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As CT previously discussed, we love the Whopper. The original is so well crafted that I never order it with cheese and I typically avoid specialty versions like the Western Whopper. But BK’s recent marketing push worked on me and I saddled up for an Angry Whopper. Honestly, how could anyone pass up a sammich billed as “angry”?

Angry!The King apparently has decreed angry to mean spicy, so the sammich comes equipped with pepper jack cheese, jalapeƱos, hot sauce, and breaded onions. With that lineup of toppings I expected the thing to be burning a hole in my stomach all afternoon, and it did. Thank goodness for R-O-L-A-I-D-S.

Going down, however, the burger was surprisingly mild. It had some kick, but the Angry Whopper was nowhere near as fiery as the Steak n Shake Pepperjack Melt or White Castle jalapeƱo sliders. That was fine by me, but connoisseurs of hot stuff may be disappointed.

All in all, the Angry Whopper is a pretty good burger. Unfortunately for BK, I still wouldn’t choose it over the original. The King has set the bar high enough that even he has trouble clearing it.

Music Nerd: The Man of Bronze

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Yeah, it's a tricone resonator guitar. And it's a lefty, which is a rarity indeed. And I love the baked-on bronze powder coat. And it's reasonably priced. So what's the holdup? Well, I'm thinking that I'd like the same thing, but in a squareneck model (for lap-style playing). So I'm continuing to harass Frank at Republic Guitars about making me a squareneck.

Squareneck tricones were the weapon of choice for a lot of the 1920s-1930s Hawaiian slide guitarists. There were three African-American bluesmen --- Casey Bill Weldon, Black Ace, and Oscar "Buddy" Woods --- who played the blues in this style. The sound is like a bluegrass dobro (invented by the same fella), but with less of a banjo-like initial attack. Incredible sustain, which is why they are ideal slide instruments.

Warriors, come out to play

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There are a lot of annoying things about going to the movie theater these days, but chief among them has to be paying for the privilege of watching commercials before the movie starts. On those rare trips to the theater (evidenced by the dearth of current movie reviews on this site), I try to arrive late enough to miss most of the stupid trivia slides and marketing shill. Though last Friday my wife and I arrived at the theater early enough to see this:

Um… okay.

Discussions of foreign policy or jingoism aside, what exactly is the take home message of this? That giving a rock concert, driving a stock car, and being in the National Guard are equally heroic and important? That I should join the Guard because Kid Rock and Little E have my back? I have no idea.

Anybody else seen this video? Any sensible explanation for it?

Now I Believe It

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A few months back it was announced that Red Dwarf was returning. Just as so many times before the very same thing had been announced. Well, now I believe it thanks to the above picture that was posted at The Dave's website (the UK channel, not "THE Dave").

Way back in September of 2007, I posted about unresolved cliffhanger endings for canceled TV shows. While I predicted the chances of its return to be slim, I also said:
Whenever a season did end on a cliffhanger, they never really continued the story upon returning. It generally was recapped quickly and then a new story was brought to the forefront.

That looks to be the case as Rimmer is once again a hologram and Kochanski is no longer with them. It will be interesting to see what the story is for this return and if they make any reference to how series 8 ended several years ago. Either way, I'm very much looking forward to this.

Cover Potential: Hobo Supes

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First off, let's get something clear about this post...the main point here is to get another post on the board for hobos. It's been 14 months since the first and only post about hobos. That changes now.

I'm no scientist, but I remember learning about kinetic and potential energy in science class. The various nerd genres are full of potential energy. Hellboy II had the potential to be good...didn't happen. Firefly had the potential to go on for seven years...didn't happen. Somewhere in all of this are the crazy Superman covers from the 1960s. It seems like the questions posed on the covers were answered in ways that weren't all that exciting. By the end of the book, everything was back to status quo. I present this cover for your perusal:


Without having read the inside of the comic pictured above, I thought it might be cool to come up with the story inside. Why is Superman fighting crime as both a millionaire and a hobo? What would be the point? Okay, so here goes...

The natural inclination is to read into the "From Riches to Rags" part which would insinuate that Superman was a millionaire but then lost his money and has gone to the other extreme and is now a hobo. But, the first line of the cover copy says "Why does Superman fight crime as a millionaire AND as a hobo?" That leads me to believe that he's doing both at the same time. So my guess is that Superman saved an old lady a few years back who happened to be very wealthy. She passed away from natural causes and left all of her money to Superman to aid in his mission to fight crime. But her will states that a large portion would go to her son if he can ever be found. Millionaire Superman tracks down the lady's son and discovers he's a hobo and tries to reach out to him, but the son wants nothing to do with Millionaire Superman. "Try living how us hobos live and see if maybe you can understand." In an effort to reach out to the son, Superman poses as a hobo. This impresses the son and he decides to take all the money to set up a center to help traveling hobos.

Okay...let me read the actual story and see how close I got.

Ugh. I wasn't close at all. Superman has been getting these strange compulsions to act a certain way while he's out fighting crime. He happens upon a crime and begins acting like a rich guy for about a page and a half. Then he feels compelled to pose as Hobo Superman to help convince the city officials to clean up the slums of Metropolis. Then he poses as a lawyer, an Indian chief, a doctor and then feels compelled to steal something. Turns out that Halley's Comet was from Krypton and came by Earth when Superman was a child. Young Clark saw the comet at the same time Ma Kent was playing some game with shirt buttons where you would predict the shirt wearer's future by counting buttons (Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief, doctor, lawyer, Indian chief). Now as an adult, Halley's comet is back again and is post-hypnotically compelling Superman to become all of those things.

See? That's what I was talking about. Potential energy. I like mine better.

Apparently there have been other hobo-themed comics. Although the one I just read has made me not want to read comics again for awhile.

I don't know any "Zartan!"

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So, the G.I. Joe trailer debuted during the Super B...er, the big game. Recalling the fact that this is directed by Stephen "Van Helsing" Sommers, I am in no way looking forward to this movie. However, I am excited about the boost it's giving to the G.I. Joe property.

I have ended a three year drought of action figure collecting and have been picking up some of the new G.I. Joe action figures. These things are great. Infinitely better than the original "A Real American Hero" line from the 80s/90s. And the G.I. Joe Resolute web cartoon promises to be a billion times better than the 80s cartoon.

Still, there's something to be said for outright wackiness of the classic line. Take Zartan for example...my first exposure to him was in the 1984 catalog (image below from YoJoe.com). He sounded real menacing. Here's the copy:

ZARTAN THE ENEMY!
Zartan: The Master of Disguise
with Swamp Skier: Chameleon


Watch out, G.I. Joe! There's an evil enemy out there, a master of disguise out to fool you. His name. . . Zartan. His mission. . . to spy on G.I. Joe and report back to COBRA. His strategy. . . he changes colors to conceal his true identity and blend in with his environment! And to deceive you further Zartan dons a face mask, then pulls it off and hides it in his backpack. Look out!



I'm not sure I completely understand the logic of his strategy. He'll blend in with his surroundings, that part I get. But then he puts a mask on. So, does his mask blend in with his surroundings? Doesn't read like it does. If Roadblock or Barbecue happened to be walking by would they not notice a floating head? Oh wait, I forgot, Zartan can put his mask in his backpack! NOOOOOO!!!!! LOOK OUT G.I. JOE!!!!!! YOU ARE DOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!

Boy, if that weren't enough, there's this TV commercial also from the awesome archive site YoJoe.com:

video


I guess when you add up all the silliness from the file cards, cartoons, comic books, maybe Stephen Sommers doesn't seem so bad a choice as a director. It could be a lot worse. It could be whoever made that commercial.

What does a big nerd do for the Big Game?

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It's a football!It’s Big Game Sunday. You know, the Big Game that I can’t mention by name without paying a license fee to Pete Rozelle or Napoleon or somebody.

Now I’m not a huge (or hugh, if you prefer) sports fan, but I enjoy having something inconsequential to pay attention to. Heck, some sports-talk radio, like the Boers & Bernstein show out of Chicago, is genuinely entertaining. So normally I would tune in to the Big Game, but I don’t find this year’s matchup very interesting. And since I didn’t receive a Big Game party invitation this year, I don’t have much motivation to watch the game today. Instead I’ll probably play a little Bionic Commando Rearmed, work on the family budget, and visit a car wash while everyone is glued to the game.

How about it, fellow nerds?  How are you spending your sensational Sunday?

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