This Post is not Wrestlicious

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Wrestlicious Baby!As I mentioned a few weeks back, I still jones for rasslin’ entertainment from time to time. Since neither WWE nor TNA do much for me, I stay on the lookout for alternatives. A few years back the all too brief run of Wrestling Society X really hit the spot. It was way over the top, tongue in cheek, and just a lot of fun. With hope that it might deliver the same, I checked out the first episode of the women’s wrestling show Wrestlicious.

Women’s wrestling isn’t my cup of tea and never has been (apologies to Moolah and the GLOW girls), but the back story alone warranted checking it out. The real life founder of Wrestlicious and on-screen owner, Jay Vargas aka JV Rich, is the youngest Powerball lottery winner in history. Vargas decided to use some of his $17 million payout to fulfill his lifelong dream of running a pro-wrestling promotion. Seriously. That investment plan is about as smart as just flushing the money down the toilet, but God bless Mr. Vargas for living the dream.

After many delays in finding a broadcast outlet, the pilot episode debuted two weeks ago on networks I have never heard of and which I refuse to believe are real, MavTV and BiteTV in Canada. Luckily for this review, the episodes are also available for streaming on the InterWeb.

The show takes a completely old school approach to characters featuring a farmer’s daughter, pop star, cheerleader, surfer, matador, and others. Mixed with the wrestling matches are plenty of T&A, comedy skits of Hee Haw quality, and an overused laugh track. The matches I saw ranged from terrible to mediocre, but the play-by-play is an absolutely unbearable stream of puns and sexual innuendo.

In total, it’s a groan worthy 22 minutes. Though I may be back for further viewings nonetheless. After all, CT and I did watch Cleopatra 2525 back in the day.

When a Nerd Becomes a Dad: Imagination Movers

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Last time, we introduced Cordy and ran the first of his two part series where he began deconstructing childrens shows from the Nerd point-of-view. Cordy is back with a look at another show. Who knows...if enough people like this topic, maybe we'll have Cordy come back and do this again.



Imagination Movers
The job of these four guys is to solve problems for other people. Once again, I love this show but there are just some things I would absolutely LOVE to point out to my children.

If you've ever seen the size of their warehouse you know they have got to have a tremendous amount of rent to pay and yet I have never seen anyone render any sort of compensation for their services. In the real world these guys would have been laughed out of the bank to which they went to acquire their startup capital. "You want to use your imaginations to help people with their problems? How about you try to imagine yourselves with enough cash to rent this warehouse and renovate it into the hundreds of rooms you think you are going to need because we here at Chase Bank think your business plan has a few holes in it."

Aside from the far-fetched business aspects of the Movers they seem to be sporting some pretty advanced technology. Dave (you know, the guy underneath the red hat) seems to be able to pull anything, regardless of size, out of his hat. More TARDIS-like technology? I have seen this guy pull everything from a slice of pizza to a snow shovel out of that thing. Not only does there seem to be a nearly infinite amount of storage space in the hat, everything it contains seems to be pretty well organized and well within easy reach. Maybe it's not so much like a TARDIS as it is like a Bag of Holding in D&D.

One of the other Movers, Scott, has the goggles that help him see far. That's not all they do, though. Along with their magnification qualities these goggles have allowed Scott to see through walls. They never explain how the goggles do this and since I've never seen anyone on the show wearing lead-lined garments I can only assume they operate on a principle other than x-rays. Get this: the goggles can also allow Scott to see smells. How exactly can you see smells? Are the goggles magnifying the scent particles to the point that Scott can visibly track them through the air? If that is the case the goggles must have some sort of simultaneous micro/macro picture-in-picture ability so Scott can view the magnified particles and see everything else in normal mode, allowing him to walk around unimpeded.

I know the rest of you nerd parents are in the same boat. I just might have to start innocently asking my kids about some of these things to see what they have to say. Maybe in a couple of years when I mention TARDIS to them and they stare back at me blankly I can guide them over to my DVDs and introduce them to Dr. Who and see what they think.

LET THE NERDING BEGIN!!

Thanks, Cordy for this great topic. There are certainly a lot more shows that could get this treatment in the future. Christian already mentioned Handy Manny the yesterday. Any other suggestions for future useless analysis? Meanwhile, follow Cordy on the Twitter or check out his blog.

When a Nerd Becomes a Dad: The Little Einsteins

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Our friend Cordy has graciously accepted the request to submit an article to Nerd Lunch. We like it so much, we're going to spread it out over two posts. I'll let PLee introduce Cordy...

Cordy "The Red-Headed Stepp Child" Stepp designs forklifts for a living, perhaps as a result of his traumatic forklift accident as a boy. He has spent long hours trying to reconcile conflicting canon about the rank of Miles O'Brien and has written surprisingly explicit fan fiction on this theme. We saw "Batman and Robin" in the theater and have agreed never to discuss it. He might kill you, but he will never lie to you. -PLee

As nerds we often find ourselves deconstructing (yeah, I know this isn't really the proper use of the word but it just sounds good in this instance) everything from books to movies to tv shows.  We dedicate websites and online communities to picking apart the tv shows we love and hate, discussing the theories behind our favorite authors' works and "re-do"-ing movies that should have been good but just plain stunk.  Where does it end?  Where should it end?

It's even worse if you happen to be a nerd who is also a parent.  Personally, I don't want to ruin what little magic remains in the world for my children.  Sometimes it is almost too hard to resist making snide comments about the shows they watch, though.  Allow me to provide a couple of examples of the things I would love to point out to my kids.

This is a show about four little kids who inevitably help some sort of bizarre object perform a series of musically-related tasks necessary for said object to reach it's goal.  I love the show because it introduces children to classical music and art but the story lines are pretty far out there.

These kids have a toy Rocket that helps them along the way.  Rocket's very nature causes me to speculate as to what principles allow him to operate as he does.  First of all, Rocket's size seems to vary according to the Einstein's needs.  He appears larger or smaller according to the situation and their surroundings.  Rocket also has the ability to transform into various modes of transportation, also according to need.  He can take the form of a boat, a train or even a...ROCKET!  When he transforms I really want to know where the extra components come from and where the ones that are no longer needed go.  Is Rocket like the Hulk and somehow gains or loses his extra mass from and to some sort of pocket universe?  I have yet to broach that subject with my kids.

A recurring theme among current children's shows is the amount of space available inside an object like Rocket.  There always seems to be much more room inside Rocket than one would think upon viewing his exterior.  This has got to be technology akin to the TARDIS used by the Time Lords of Dr. Who.

Another of Rocket's aspects that causes me to speculate is his power source.  There are times when the Einsteins are riding around in Rocket that he isn't moving quite fast enough or nimbly enough for them and they need to give him more power.  Usually at this point the leader, Leo, will ask for audience participation in the form of patterned patting and clapping to power-up Rocket.  I can only assume Rocket's power source is based on the conversion of sound waves.  It seems that Rocket converts this vibrational energy into kinetic energy which can be used for thrust or maneuvering.  In the real world we would have seen Rocket imprisoned and experimented upon by the government.

Finally, where are all the people?  The world which the Little Einsteins inhabit seems to be devoid of any other humans.  This makes me wonder if these four children have somehow been transported to a pocket universe with Laws of Physics which differ greatly from our own.  Or have they somehow traveled to an alternate reality or timeline in which humanity has ceased to exist yet the great artistic works of Man remain?


Come back tomorrow for Cordy's review of another children television show. In the meantime, follow Cordy on the Twitter or check out his blog.

Nic Cage as Everyone

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This site may be old news to some of our twelve readers, but this is another Internet oddity I had to share. Mix a blog, Photoshop, Nicolas Cage, and way too much time on a lot of people’s hands and the result must be Nic Cage As Everyone. Easily the world’s foremost effort to put Nicolas Cage’s face onto other celebrities, historical figures, and fictional characters.

Nic Lincoln

If only one of the contributors could have shown up at the beginning of Face/Off, put Cage’s face back on, and made that movie about 2 hours shorter.

Coco Photoshop Contest

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The guy running the I'm With Coco campaign has set up a Photoshop contest best explained by visiting this link.

Here is my contribution to the Coco Photoshop Contest:

I'm With Coco Facebook Fan Page
Mike Mitchell on Twitter
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